The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: April 19, 2024
More Bad Batch, more Mando, saber laser is a thing, we spin some vinyl, and more
Hello there
Good morning and welcome to this week’s edition of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. I apologize in advance if there are more typos than usual. I was traveling for work this week and a decent chunk of this has been written at the airport or on a plane. We’ve got a fun one this week. The Bad Batch is racing to its logical conclusion of a Mount Tantiss show down. We get a little more news on a season 4 of The Mandalorian. I discover that there is lightsaber fencing, and take a look at some Star Wars records I picked up recently. An expensive hobby I could get into (the former) and an expensive hobby I’m already into (the latter) Plus all the usual weekly nonsense.
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This Is Where The Fun Begins
Got this from long time real-life and Death Star HR friend Darth Vo. Sometimes recycled ideas are the…if not the best at least something that we know will work.
The Bad Batch Goes Into the Breach
It’s hard to believe we only have two episodes left of The Bad Batch. As I’ve said before, it’s interesting watching knowing there’s an end. This is the first show where Disney told us there’s an end date before the last season aired1. It doesn’t seem likely that we’re going to get another season of Book of Boba Fett or Obi-Wan but I don’t believe that’s actually be confirmed.
Anyway…this week’s felt like another set up episode, they probably could have combined the last two episodes into one 35ish minute episode and accomplished the same thing. Again this is not a knock against filler or set up episodes. Episodes that are just there are perfectly fine. As I said recently, I think streaming broke our brains about how we view TV shows. Everything has to be hyper-focused on the story and moving it along and there’s no room for any fluff. I’m as guilty as of this as anyone else, even thought I try not to be and just enjoy an episode for what it is.
We’ve moved from the character development stages of The Bad Batch to just moving the plot along. At this point, we’ve figured out who everyone is. While Crosshair has been the most interesting member of the Clone Force 99, it appears all is forgiven and we’re never to speak of Crosshair’s little Rumshpringa working for the Empire. Hunter and Wrecker have largely stayed the same. I feel like Omega is more earnest this season but she was pretty established already as the voice of positivity. There were two things I wanted to see this season, how Crosshair would return with his bros and the political dealings of Senator Chuchi fighting for the Clones. Crosshair wasn’t exactly welcomed back with open arms, but it was a pretty quick resolution and the whole “trying to murder Clone Force 99 to support a fascist regime seems to be water under the bridge. We had the one episode with the Senator in which I opined it had a John le Carre vibe, but that’s all we’ve seen of her.
It would be easy to say “what’s the complaint here, this is technically a cartoon for kids.” Lucas has always said the Star Wars movies are like the Wu-Tang Clan; they’re for the children. I’ve always thought that was a bit of a cop out, for two reasons. First, Lucas and Disney might say the cartoons are for the children but they know damn well there’s a bunch of large adult sons watching. And second, Star Wars has told deep and compelling stories in cartoon form in The Clone Wars and Rebels.
Also, that’s not to say The Bad Batch isn’t a compelling story, it really is. Even if it’s just doing a Three Men & A Baby bit in space. But the parts I really want to see more of wrapped up halfway through the season. Maybe the nature of adult Star Wars fandom is always wanting to see more, that we’re insatiable monsters who demand every angle of every store be told to our satisfaction but we can never be satisfied. Wonder how much that causes Dave Filoni to drink.
Putting the Sabacc Cards on the Table
With only two more episodes until the end of The Bad Batch, it’s prediction time. What’s going to happen the last two episodes? Well, Master Yoda does say “hard to see the future is.” With that in mind, I’m going to make my best guesses.
The bad clone, CX-2, is Tech. Yes, I know the internet decided that Marrok was SOMEBODY and he turned out to be NOBODY, but I really don’t see how it can be anyone other than Tech. Also, I hope it’s not Tech.
Omega survives. I hope she gets a happy ending of her and Batcher living their best lives on Pabu. The end of the show has the potential to be dark. But as this is still a kids show, I don’t think Disney is going to kill off the main child protagonist. Everyone else is fair game though, which brings me the next point.
Crosshair is the most likely to die. I’m putting the odds at 90%. For Hunter and Wrecker, I think it’s 60/40 they die versus they survive.
I haven’t decided how exactly Crosshair will die but the premise will be he’s going to have to sacrifice himself to save Omega and maybe the rest of Clone Force 99. And somehow he’s going to have to some Omega’s mediation techniques to steady his hand so he can make a shot.
Dr. Karr has a change of heart and helps her sister Omega and the other kids escape along with sabotaging the work. Maybe Karr and Lama Su team up as well to ruin Dr. Hemlock.
The former Vice Admiral Rampart is going to try to betray the Batch to get back into the Emperor’s good graces. Unfortunately Palpy has a “one strike and you’re out policy” so in the end he decides to helping Clone Force 99 is his only choice.
Captain Rex and his Inglourious Basterds clone crew will help out. There is where Wolffe leaves the Empire and joins up with Rex.
Episode 14 is just 25 minutes of Grand Moff Tarkin auditing the Project Necromancer books and questioning Dr. Hemlock why he’s spent so much money on kids games for the captives.
OK, some of these I have more confidence in than others. Come back in two weeks and we’ll see how well I can predict the future.
Season 4 of The Mandalorian: ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
It hasn’t been mentioned in a while, but the Hollywood strikes really did a number on future Star Wars projects. Delaying some, changing the plans for others. Just to be clear, I am OK with this. Despite the Human Resources in the name, Death Star HR was fully supporting the actors, writers, and everyone else on strike. But now that it’s done, it’s time to see what’s going on the galaxy far, far away.
Disney can’t seem to make up it’s mind if we’re going to get a season 4 of The Mandalorian. Showrunner Jon Faveru said he had the scripts written even before season 3 was released. But that was also before we found out we were getting a movie. When the Mando and Grogu buddy comedy was announced a few months ago, it seemed like the pairs’ small screen adventures were going to end. It looks like we got a little more confirmation, as Screen Rant notes:
A sidebar included in the latest Star Wars Insider issue includes a production diary with updates on current and future projects, and The Mandalorian season 4 isn't present. Both The Acolyte and Skeleton Crew are listed as "Coming Soon," and the only projects listed as "In Development" are Ahsoka season 2 and The Mandalorian & Grogu movie - with The Mandalorian TV show logo given to its upcoming movie. The Mandalorian season 4 is nowhere to be seen, and so it seems the next season of the Star Wars TV show has been shelved - for now.
This doesn’t necessarily mean we won’t get a season 4 of The Mandalorian, just that it isn’t going to happen any time soon.
When asked about season 4 in the past, executive producer Dave Filoni chose to remain cryptic about it, which seems to imply that its fate has not yet been sealed. Various cast members have also spoken about their desire to move forward with season 4, and that if it were up to them, they would do it no question - but, of course, the cast members don't hold the authority to make such decisions.
It has been thought/rumored/known for a while that season 4 of Mando and season 2 of Ahsoka are the prerequisites for Dave Filoni’s alleged Heir to the Empire movie. The movie is thought to be a wrap up of the Filoni-verse and end of the line for all the characters we’ve seen in live-action over the last 5ish years. Mando, Grogu, Ahsoka, Thrawn, etc.. Or at least the end of the line until Disney needs to juice the subscriber numbers for Disney+ and brings them back.
So in short. It doesn’t look like we’re going to get a season four of The Mandalorian. Unless we do. But it won’t be until after the movie is done. Maybe.
Une Arme élégante, Pour un âge Plus Civilisé
I am not an athlete. I know, I know, the guy who writes a Star Wars newsletter isn’t an athlete. Shocking, right? That’s like saying it’s cold on Hoth or Wookiees hate humidity. But I now I have something to get off the couch for. I’m not sure how I missed this until today, but in 2019 the French Fencing Federation recognized lightsaber - or as they call it in France, saber laser - as an official form of fencing. We all know that Disney has an army of lawyers powered by the Dark Side, so better call it saber laser just to avoid any possibly messy copyright infringement lawsuits.
Doesn’t this look like fun???
As a side note, I don’t know enough about fencing to know what companies supply their equipment, but as an occasional beer league hockey player, I recognize those Bauer and CCM pads.
The idea behind making saber laser an official fencing…thing is to try to attract new people to the sport. I’m sure most people associate fencing with rich people who use “summer” as a verb and enjoy other sports like dressage or hunting humans for sport on their private island.
Not only does lightsaber fencing ward off the urges to hunt the most dangerous game, man, it’s good for you.
Serge Aubailly, the federation’s secretary general, emphasized the importance of addressing the public health concerns associated with sedentary lifestyles, particularly among the younger generation. “With young people today, it’s a real public health issue,” he said at the time. “They don’t do any sport and only exercise with their thumbs.”
Kids these days, with their Super Marios and their Fortnites and their Calls of Duty who just won’t get off the couch.
Maybe, just maybe I could make this a thing. There are not one, but two Lightspeed Saber League clubs in the Dallas area. One in Irving and the other in Fort Worth. I’m not sure if I’d be any good at it, but it would make for good Death Star HR content
Great Moments in Star Wars Merchandise
So over the last month or so I’ve picked up these beauties. They were 2021 releases for Japanese Record Store Day.
The records for A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back came from a local store, Black Cat Records and Comics which has quickly become my favorite record store in Dallas. The Return of the Jedi was from Cromulent Records in Los Angeles that specializes in Japanese vinyl and has absolute best name2 of any record store I’ve seen.
Anyway, this is not a plug of various record stores. Instead it’s a plug of my record collection. I hate to admit that, as of the time I’m typing this, I haven’t opened them up and listened to them yet. That’s not my style to leave records sealed. My style is open them up and throw them on the turntable as quickly as possible. But these three are so cool looking I’ve left them sealed. For now.
What I really like is the three different styles of art on each of the album covers. A New Hope is a classic fantasy cover, which makes sense as Star Wars is really more fantasy than sci-fi.
Empire Strikes Back is looks like it was done with a very early version of Photoshop. Also I’m not sure that version of Cloud City ever appears in a movie, probably more of an artists rendition. So I had initially thought that was some concept art specifically for Empire, but this week I learned in the fascinating but infrequent newsletter “The Beauty of Star Wars Concept Art” that it was concept art for an Imperial City, done in 1975. It just got busted out for Cloud City.
The Return of the Jedi cover isn’t abstract or anything, but it’s certainly not character driven the way the first two are. I am a little disappointed you don’t have Vader lurking in the back ground on ROTJ like you do on the first two, but otherwise each one is cool in it’s own way.
However, while those are some pretty interesting records, what gets them their own section in this very newsletter is the poster for A New Hope. And more specifically the artist who somehow managed to turn Mark Hamill into Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Seriously, get a load of Luke’s abs. If something ever happens where I need to have my portrait painted, I am absolutely going to hire whoever did this poster. My only instructions are going to be “give me the Mark Hamill treatment.” Seems like an easier way to get a six-pack than working out and eating right.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
So I have mentioned a few times throughout Death Star HR that, believe it or not, writing a free newsletter about Star Wars does not pay the bills and that my day job is being a lawyer. I’ve also lamented the lack of Space Law in the movies and TV shows. The best we’ve had is the Judge in Andor.
Now, I swear I did not go looking for this. The Wookieepedia randomizer gods smiled on me and gave me Zot Effervescence.
Zot Effervescence was an attorney working for the Nani, Medypsh, Effervesence, & Oeklass law firm. After Oeklass violated the Contract of the Common Ownership Agreement established in 45-x-920p for stealing a boat on Mistar-5, Zot, along with Lilac Nani and Medypsh, signed a letter demanding that Oeklass either contacted them or sent them an oblong object as proof of compliance to the terms of the contract, or else default procedures would be put in motion immediately.
OK I love this so much. Not only do we have a Star Wars lawyer. We have shady dealings at the law firm where one partner stole something from the others. It’s like John Grisham in space!
News From the HoloNet
PSG turns to Star Wars amid terror fears as Paris Olympics chiefs brace for launch
Sharing for the headline. There is A LOT going on here.
Star Wars Outlaws Is Getting Every Scoundrel’s Favorite Card Game
But can you win the Falcon?
‘Fortnite’ Is Doing Another ‘Star Wars’ Event, Here Are The Remaining Skins It Needs
The people demand a Babu Frik skin!
Disney reportedly wants to bring always-on channels to Disney Plus
“The cableification of streaming” is an extremely depressing phrase.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
It’s interesting to say a show “aired” when we watched it on streaming. Do people still say a show aired or am I just old?
This is now two weeks in a row I’ve been able to reference the word “cromulent.”
I mean, clearly SOMETHING is up with Tech. Saying you could only find his glasses is practically screaming TECH LIVES, BRACE YOURSELVES FOR A PLOT TWIST!