The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: May 10, 2024
We all survived May the 4th. Except Tech.
Hello there
Good morning and welcome to this week’s Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. I hope everyone survived May the 4th followed by Revenge of the 5th and that your Blue Milk hangover wasn’t too bad. It was actually a pretty low key Star Wars weekend around Death Star HR. Not always a bad thing. I needed a little break after two newsletters in one week. It was fun, but I won’t be doing that again any time soon. At least not until May the 4th, 2025. Slightly shorter newsletter this week. I wasn’t planning on that, but sometimes it just happens. We’ve got a cartoon trailer which could be the best thing Disney has done with Star Wars. I don’t want to oversell it though. I get around to the series finale of The Bad Batch. We have to talk about The Acolyte and some of the reactions to it. Plus all the usual nonsense.
As always, every single one of you Death Star HR readers is appreciated. If you have a friend or loved one who likes our favorite galaxy, why not forward them this email? Now, let’s get to it.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
I missed this for the extra-special May the 4th Death Star HR, but it was too good not to post. Heathrow Airport got in on the May the 4th fun.
Not gonna lie, not a lot of great destinations. If I had to pick one of those planets to travel to…that’s a tough call. I think I’m going to catch a flight to Kashyyyk. It might be fun to hang out with the Wookiees. Give me Coruscant any day though.
LEGO Does What George Wouldn’t Dare
I will admit I am not super familiar the LEGO Star Wars cartoons. I’ve seen a few here and there, but the target audience is the younglings. Not immature adults like myself. Disney certainly doesn’t mind if immature adults like myself watch, anything to juice the Disney+ viewership numbers. But I’m not who they have in mind when they were making the cartoons.
However, that soon may change. Just watch.
It’s a fun idea, everything is switched. Good is bad. Light is dark. Up is down. Loth-cats and Lurca hounds living together - mass hysteria. We saw AT-AT walkers with the Rebel logo on them and a bunch of Geonosian Jedi. Ewok bounty hunters. Neat. But anyone who’s read more than one Death Star HR newsletter knows why I’m leading with this.
Darth. Jar. Jar.
That’s right. Weesa be gettin’ the most internet brained Star Wars meme out there.
Honestly I don’t care of the only appearance we get of Darth Jar Jar is what we’ve seen in the trailer. Well done, Disney. This is truly giving the people what they want.
The Bad Batch: This is Your Life
The first planned series finale in the Disney era hit last week. The Bad Batch, the story of some rogue defective clones doing a Four Three Men & A Baby bit. We finally got the ending. It was good. And bad. But mostly good.
Just putting this reminder out there since there’s been an bunch of new subscribers lately. Hi and welcome! It is the policy of Death Star HR to post spoilers. If you haven’t seen The Bad Batch yet and don’t want to know what happens, I’d suggest you quickly scroll past.
One issue I’ve had with some Star Wars shows lately is they just feel predictable. I was pretty close to nailing the end of Ahsoka. Other than Ezra managing to escape I got the main plot points right. Some of that is just look…it’s ain’t Shakespeare.
I went back and revisited my predictions from the April 19th Death Star HR. After looking over my predictions, I got two big ones wrong. CX-2 wasn’t Tech. And all of Clone Force 99 made it out alive. Crosshair didn’t get a noble sacrifice. Rex didn’t show up. So maybe I was more wrong than right. But I guess there wasn’t anything that I felt was too big of a surprise.
I’ve been kind of stuck as to what I wanted to say about The Bad Batch and how it wrapped up. Ultimately, it was a satisfying ending. Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair got to call it a day. They spent their lives in the service of the Republic and then just when they think the war is over, along comes the Empire and their murderous ways. One might say that Clone Force 99 was needed in the Rebellion, that they turned their backs on everyone settling down on Pabu. Timelines in Star Wars can be a little loosey goosey though, so who’s to say they won’t have one last adventure in them to help save the Rebellion. Probably getting Omega out of some trouble.
What worked:
This season felt focused. Some other Disney+ shows, coughTheMandaloriancough have felt a little scattered as the seasons and the universe they inhabit has grown larger. Season 3 said “the story we’re telling is rescuing Clones from Tantiss.”
For the most part, the use of “extra” characters made sense. Palpatine and Tarkin being involved in The Bad Batch make complete sense, as it feels like a lot of the Disney streaming shows exist to justify Palpatine returning. Like Rebels, The Bad Batch does a good job of making sure main characters serve a purpose. Because it’rs
Dave Filoni faked us out. Like I discussed last week, I am positive that Filoni knows a mysterious masked character will set the fanbase on fire with speculation. No doubt he’s laughing at all of us as it’s revealed CX-2 wasn’t Tech.
Related to the above point, Tech stayed dead. It’s best to let the dead stay dead. It adds something to their story. Tech executing Plan 99 so the rest of Clone Force 99 is as heartbreaking as you can get in a Disney cartoon that doesn’t involve Bambi’s mom.
The scene where Senator Chuchi meets Senator Singh. It felt like straight out of a John le Carre novel and honestly might be my favorite scene out of all three seasons.
What doesn’t:
The bigger story was often sidetracked. The first two seasons had a story-line of how did the Clones fit into the Empire. Arguably there’s an even larger story of what do we as a society owe the people who fight our battles? Even if were engineered by a Sith Lord to bring about the downfall of the Republic. Honestly, this might be a better subject for a Star Wars novel.
The “fish out of what child adopted by older people who have no idea what to do but form a bond” has been done. I get that officially the Star Wars cartoons, like the Wu-Tang Clan1, are for the children. Even though The Bad Batch, like Rebels and Clone Wars, can get really dark. It shouldn’t say it doesn’t work, but maybe try a new format in the future.
What card:
Ventress. What was the point? Sure it was kinda fun to see here again. But did she really add anything to the story besides giving us something to talk about online for a week or so? There are no obvious spots for her to show up again any time soon, at least not in any of the known shows. It felt like a cheap nostalgia grab. CX-2 wasn’t Tech, but hey, here’s Ventress.
People Are Yelling About The Acolyte
Last week I talked about how I went and saw The Phantom Menace in the theater. It was low on the reasons I went, but Disney did promise an exclusive bonus teaser for The Acolyte after the movie ended. As as the credits rolled, I stayed in my seat. Even though I really needed to hit the bathroom. It doesn’t look like the footage that was showed in the theater is out there on YouTube, but there is a rundown here.
Also, there was a new trailer released that honestly gives you more info about the show. The teaser we got with The Phantom Menace was extended footage of Mae (Amandla Stenberg) fighting Jedi Master Indara (Carrie-Anne Moss).
I am still undecided how I feel about The Acolyte. Mostly because it’s comes from a world of Star Wars that I’m not really familiar with. Yes, believe or not there are parts of the galaxy far, far away that I am ignorant of. And that’s The High Republic era. I know OF The High Republic and I know so very basic parts of it. It’s set before the Prequels, far back enough that you’re not going to get overlap with Prequel characters other than maybe Yoda. I think it’s supposed to show the Republic at it’s peak. Before the corruption and ineffective politicians we see in Episode I ruin everything. And we see the Jedi at their peak. Only, at least according to the trailer, someone is out there killing Jedi.
While this isn’t an era of Star Wars I know a lot about, I would call myself cautiously optimistic about the show. There’s going to be lots of Jedi running around which means there’s going to be lots of lightsaber duels. Lightsaber duels are awesome. That is a scientific fact. Showrunner Leslye Headland has dubbed the fighting style we saw as “Force-fu.” Which makes sense. The fight between Mae and Indara gave me a flashback to watching Trinity in The Matrix. And do I need to reminder everyone, there’s going to be a Wookiee Jedi!
When I went to YouTube to see if I could find the Episode I Acolyte trailer, the algorithm suggested several videos for me about how The Acolyte is “for girls,” was “ratioed again,” a “crushing mediocre product,” and how the “woke Star Wars director freaked out.”
You must be able to see the future better than Yoda to know The Acolyte is going to be bad based on approximate 3 minutes of footage.
I don’t want to spend any more time talking about these people than I absolutely. Viewing everything through the lens of the never-ending and all-consuming culture war is exhausting. If you think Kathleen Kennedy is ruining Star Wars, yeah, well, that’s just like, your opinion, man. It is interesting that there’s nothing in my YouTube history to suggest I want those kind of videos, but Google knows that if all I want to do is watch the trailer for The Acolyte, I’ll do that and leave the site. But if I’m someone who thinks Kathleen Kennedy has ruined my childhood, I’ll just keep watching every rage-bait video the algorithm can feed me.
Anyway, we less videos complaining about something we haven’t even seen and more videos with Wookiee Jedi!
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
Found something suspicious for FTDOW. We’ve got the Alderaanian gunship. That doesn’t sound too sus, you might be saying to yourself. Do you even remember A New Hope?
Grand Moff Tarkin: Not after we demonstrate the power of this battle station. In a way, you have determined the choice of the planet that is to be destroyed first. Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive power on your home planet of Alderaan.
Princess Leia Organa: No! Alderaan is peaceful, we have no weapons. You can't possibly…
No weapons, eh? Sorry, Princess. Did you just happen to forget about the Alderaanian gunships? Look, blowing up the planet was a bit of an overreaction, but I’m not saying Tarkin was completely in the wrong.
News From the HoloNet
STAR WARS: SKELETON CREW Series Starring Jude Law Set to Hit Disney+ by This Christmas
Spoiler alert. A character will use the Force.
George Lucas Worried Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Was Just 'Jerking People Around'
I would like to be rich enough one day that people tell me my bad ideas are actually good ones.
Bad Batch: Why were several important clones not in the series finale?
Is it “spinoff” or “spin off?” Either way, there’s your answer.
San Francisco 'Star Wars' marathon teaches new lessons to diehard fans
Is the new lesson “wear an adult diaper?”
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
Hoping I haven’t made this joke already.
I've been waiting for a Jedi crime mystery since I wrote one on AO3. Sith doctrine blended with anti colonialism is an excellent bonus
Yes, Darth Jar Jar! I realize he is a meme. But I honestly would have loved a twist in the prequels where he was an agent of Palpatine or even a rival Sith lord. I would unironically love that. But like you said, at least we got some version of it.