The Death Star Human Resources Department: September 1, 2023
Do the Jedi suck, Ahsoka in space, video game callbacks, & I watched some movies
Hello there
Welcome to this week’s edition of the Death Star Human Resources Department newsletter. We’ve got a good one today. A look at this week’s Ahsoka episodes, a closer look at something from last week, and a really weird and fun theory on Marrok.
As always, if you like what I’m doing please subscribe, tell a friend, or just spam their inbox by forwarding them this newsletter. Now, let’s get to it.
Master the Force With One Weird Trick
Who gets to be a Jedi? On the surface that should be an easy question to answer. You get to be a Jedi if you can use the Force and the Jedi Council says you can be a Jedi. Can you be a Jedi if you can’t use the Force but follow the teachings of the Jedi Code? Or are the Jedi so intertwined with the Force you can’t separate one from the other? That gets into who can use the Force? Is it limited to people who were born a high midichorian count? Or is it, like they talk about in Ahsoka episode 31, the Force is in all of us.
For the longest time, you seemingly couldn’t say anything negative about the Jedi within the Star Wars universe. Yes, the Knights of the Old Republic games, especially the second one certainly take the Jedi order to task. The idea that the Jedi and the Sith are just two religious sects fighting with each other while the rest of the galaxy suffers probably doesn’t get enough credit for just how outside the Star Wars box it was at the time. That changed with The Last Jedi. Luke Skywalker, not the Chosen One but at least the guy who will rebuild the Jedi Order fails. He tries to kill his nephew. He burns all the old Jedi books and says the order needs to die to be rebuilt. A Star Wars movie that comes out and says the Jedi suck. Of course The Rise of Skywalker basically ignored The Last Jedi, but it was something new.
Let’s be honest, the Jedi do kinda suck. They remove children from their homes and indoctrinate them into their religion. They close themselves off from the rest of society in the Jedi Temple. They claim that they serve the Republic but let a Sith Lord become Senator, Chancellor, and finally Emperor under their watch all while corrupting the best human podracer the Outer Rim has ever seen. Yes, telekinesis is pretty cool but what good is it if you’re allowing the Republic to crumble around you? Ahsoka, both the character and the series, really seems to want to say the Jedi suck. But they can’t quite get there. Yes, Ahsoka walked away from the Jedi Order. Yes, she notes that the Jedi failed. But she also connected Grogu to Luke for Jedi training. She can’t completely quit the Jedi even if she walked away.
It was nice that this episode spelled out Sabine is not Force sensitive. It seemed like there was some question if she was going to be or not. I like the idea of the democratization of the Force. You don’t have to be special to use it. The Last Jedi tried to get this idea across by making Rey a junk scavenger from a planet so backwater it made Hoth look like Coruscant. Unfortunately The Rise of Skywalker gave us Rey Palpatine Skywalker but we’re not going follow that Lothcat today. It creates a bit of a sticky situation Ahsoka tries to address. If the Force is in all of us, why can’t everyone do super cool acrobatics and wave your hand saying “you don’t need to see my identification” while buying Corellian Ale for some under 21 Padawans. The explanation that well, you still have to try doesn’t really hold water. Ultimately, Ahsoka telling Huyang she doesn’t need Sabine to be a Jedi, just the best version of herself is probably as good of explanation as we’re going to get.
This week’s episode felt weird. It was only about 30 minutes, but some scenes felt like they lasted too long. Others not long enough. The episode needed some better editing. Emperor Palpatine’s #1 Fan2 and I watch a lot of the Star Wars shows with another couple we’re friends with. Both of the wives had remarked they thought the show just felt slow. I didn’t agree about the first two episodes but I did last night. The action sequences felt like they were running at 3/4 speed. I’m not sure why. But enough of my rambling, let’s get to what happened.
Starting with the obvious. The real stars of the show are Huyang and Chopper. I’d be OK if they got paired up and made the main focus of the show.
Hera telling Senator Xiono he just sat by waiting to see if the Rebellion or the Empire would win was a pretty sick burn.
Just for once I’d like to see the New Republic make a good decision. I get you have to have the New Republic fail to set up the First Order but give Chancellor Mothma a win or two.
The training scenes went on too long. I get what they’re doing. Star Wars loves to echo the past. But if you’re only going to have a half hour show, every minute counts. Again some better editing was needed
Ahsoka out in space fending off star fighters was some grade-A crazy we’d see in a Clone Wars cartoon and I am here for it.
The dogfight was, at least off the top of my head, the best one we’ve seen in the streaming era.
Even better after the dogfight we get our first good look at puurgil. Seeing how happy it made Ahsoka and Sabine to see them and think of Ezra was a nice moment.
Speaking of Ahsoka being happy, I really hope we see a little less of stoic Ahsoka. I get it. At this point she’s lived through the Clone Wars, left the Jedi Order, and the Rebellion. She’s seen some shit. But she also called the Chosen One “Sky Guy.” Give her a little more personality.
It seems like we’re going to see the duels between Ahsoka and Baylan at Stonehenge and Ahsoka vs Marrok and Sabine vs Shin in the forest from the trailers next week. Will we finally get the Marrok reveal?
KOTOR II in Ahsoka?
I meant to have this in last week’s newsletter and it completely slipped my mind. As far as I know, The Eye of Sion is something new, it’s not a flashback to anything. However in Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords, there was a Darth Sion. And he had a messed up eye.
First off, does this mean KOTOR II is canon??? I’m not sure my heart-rate could handle that.
Hyperbole and failing hearts aside, there have been elements of the KOTOR games that have been re-canonized. As I discussed in an earlier newsletter, HK-47 has been re-canonized in the comics. Revan has technically been brought back into canon although Disney hasn’t done anything with him.
It’s also possible Disney has no plans for Darth Sion and The Eye of Sion is just a nice little play on words and a wink to KOTOR fans. It seems very unlikely we’ll actually see Darth Sion, the KOTOR games take place around 3950 BBY. Even the “immortal” Palpatine only lasted 119 years.
The other thing that jumped out at people was the Eye of Sion looks a lot like a Jedi Hyperspace Ring. Only a lot bigger. So are Morgan Elsbeth and company going to hook it up to a ship that’s much larger than a Jedi Starfighter. Or is the the Eye itself the ship? And who’s idea was it?
That gold ship doesn’t look like an Imperial design. Instead it’s got a little more style. A little more pizazz. Almost as if the person behind it had an appreciation of art. Now who do we know like that…. Also the holographs look different than the usual blue holograms we see. Almost like technology from a species in another galaxy…d
And finally, I think, although am not 100% positive this is the first time we’ve seen another galaxy in Star Wars. At least in movies/tv.
The nice thing about being in a galaxy far far away is you don’t really have to confirm to the laws of physics. With hyperspace travel, the galaxy can be as big or as small as you need it. There’s no limit to the number of planets. But it’s always been confined to one galaxy. As far as I can tell, the only real mention of someplace outside the galaxy is in Attack of the Clones when Dexter Jettster telling Obi-Wan about Kamino in reference to the Rishi Maze. I’m getting in the weeds here but for as big as Star Wars is, it’s always operated in a closed system, so to speak. Going to be interesting to see what kind of weird stuff we get with another galaxy.
Luuke…I Am Your Father Who Made Your in a Test Tube
Look, I am well aware Vader doesn’t actually say “Luke. I am your father.” That’s a common misconception. But we’re going with it for the headline.
I don’t do a lot with Star Wars YouTube. There are a lot of great people making smart and funny and entertaining videos, but I’ve always liked consuming Star Wars on my terms. Anyway, I was doom scrolling through YouTube today and saw one titled “Marrok Is The LUUKE Clone From Thrawn Trilogy! (THERE'S PROOF!)” Well, I like to think I’m good at not falling for clickbait titles but you can be sure I was clicking that one quicker than Anakin cutting down a group of younglings.
The video starts by stating the obvious. There is clearly going to be a big reveal for Marrok at some point in the show. He’s wearing a mask, he didn’t talk in the first two episodes, he can use the Force. You don’t have to have Jedi powers to look into the future and see there’s going to be a big moment when he takes off his mask.
I am skeptical that Marrok is Ezra Bridger, especially now that we’ve confirmed Thrawn is in another galaxy. Some fans thought Marrok was Starkiller but it seems unlikely possible. From what I’ve read Dave Filoni considered putting Starkiller in Rebels but decided against it. I’m still hoping for Mara Jade but she has the same problem that having Marrok be Barriss Offee (another theory out there), the actor playing Marrock is a guy.
So who does YouTuber Star Wars Comics think Marrock could be? Well, spoiler alert because it’s in the title, but he says it’s Luuke Skywalker. No, I didn’t misspell that. Luuke with two U’s. Luuke is a clone of Tatoonie farmboy done good Luke Skywalker. To go down this rabbit hole, we’re going to have to get a little weird with it. In support oh his argument, he cities to canon comic books. In one, it’s shown that Emperor Palpatine has managed to save the hand that Luke (one U) had cut off on Bespin and he’s keeping it in a jar way out on Exegol and using Luke’s Force sensitive DNA in his cloning experiments. In another comic, Luke basically has a double created of him. It’s not a clone. It’s a double. There’s a difference3.
And that’s just canon. In Legends we had the OG clone of Luke Skywalker. The Last Command, the final book of the Thrawn trilogy where Ahsoka is clearly taking alot of their source material had Luuke Skywalker. A clone of Luke created by crazy Dark Jedi clone Joruus C'baoth again using Luke’s severed hand as the source material and armed with Luke’s original lightsaber that he got from Obi-Wan and lost along with his hand.
Did you follow all of that?
It’s not the worst idea. Luke having a hand in the jar is canon. A clone fits in with what’s going on in Star Wars during this time period. Remember Ahsoka is taking place in the Mandoverse. Cloning is a big part of the Mandoverse. Especially cloning using Force sensitive DNA. An actual human Jedi clone would be a pretty big step forward compared to what we’ve seen Moff Gideon be able to do. Maybe Thrawn and Elsbeth have been able to do a better job than Gideon was able to.
I love the theory, I really do. It would be absolutely insane if Marrok takes off his mask and we see a de-aged Mark Hamil. Take the rush you felt when you saw Mando open up the carrier and you first saw Baby Yoda and you can multiple that by 100. The internet might collapse under the weight of the hot takes. Heck, I’d be send out an emergency unscheduled newsletter. It would be a shot at all the people, myself included, who say that under Disney, Star Wars doesn’t take chances.
And yet I don’t think it’s going to happen. It’s just too weird, too out there. The comics and cartoons are for the Star Wars degenerates, the people who would watch an 8 episode season about a Gonk droid. The people who write newsletters where Sabine having short or long hair is something to be discussed. The people who first saw Baylan Skoll in the trailer and wondered if he was Joruus C'baoth. Those are the people a clone Luuke Skywalker is for. The real sick freaks.
Ahsoka on the other hand, is a show for the normies. Sure there are nods to the sickos, see The Eye of Sion above, but Disney needs the show to be a hit and they need more than the addicts to juice the streaming numbers. They need the normies. The people who have seen but not memorized the movies. The people who watched Mando after they saw Baby Yoda memes. I want to be clear, I’m not gatekeeping Star Wars fandom. If you only like Mando because of Baby Yoda memes, that’s fine. There’s a pretty good chance you have a healthier life than I do.
They Can’t All Be Winners
I remember reading this a while ago, but saw it again when I was doing a little research on Starkiller. it was almost a footnote but it’s such a great story I decided to give it it’s own section. In 2008 LucasArts released The Force Unleashed. As I’ve said, I’m not a big gamer and haven’t played it, but I remember hearing about it when it came out. Lucas also did what they do best and released some toys and other media tie-ins.
For the game you play as Starkiller. The forbidden love child of two Jedi who is raised by Darth Vader4 and you go around hunting down Jedi that escaped Order 66 before eventually helping the Rebellion. Kind of an Inquisitor before they were a thing. During the making of the game, the developers were trying to figure out what to name Starkiller. That was originally supposed to be a placeholder name. They wanted to give him a Darth name, to give the character a little more gravitas. Well, the developers asked George. You can read for yourself5 what happened next:
“The team threw a Hail Mary to George, saying the game would have more credibility if the apprentice had a ‘Darth’ title,” a Force Unleashed team member says. Lucas agreed that this situation made sense for Sith royalty, and offered up two Darth titles for the team to choose from. “He threw out ‘Darth Icky’ and ‘Darth Insanius.’ There was a pregnant pause in the room after that. People waiting for George to say ‘just kidding,’ but it never comes, and he just moved on to another point.”
I like to think I’m a pretty grounded person and quite honestly my life goals I think are pretty realistic. But I’d also like to be in a position where I can just throw out any crazy idea that pops in my head and everyone just has to give each other sideways glances and wonder if I’m actually serious. I bet it would be fun.
Longer Than Traveling to Bespin Without a Hyperdrive
This popped up on the old Facebook memories earlier this week. Back in 2016, Alamo Drafthouse took a day and showed the Original Trilogy back to back to back. They called it the Star Wars Marathon. As an extra bonus, they held it at one of the cooler venues in Dallas, The Majestic Theater. The Majestic is the last remaining building from the old Theater Row on Elm Street and was the first building in Dallas to be listed on the National Register of Historical Places. And for one night in August, it got to host a galaxy far, far away for myself and a couple friends.
Alamo did it right, in that they didn’t just start the projector and say “we’ll see you in seven hours.” They did an intermission between each movie, I think 30 - 45 minutes. I know we missed the beginning of the Battle of Hoth because we went to get some dinner and it took a little longer than anticipated. There was also host from Alamo and maybe the North Texas 501st were there. Plus a costume contest between Empire and Jedi.
Two things of note. The movies were, of course, the Special Editions. The Mouse House will never let the non-SE movies see the light of day. I can say with the same amount of certainty that Han shot first there was a clause in sale contract from Lucas to Disney that they wouldn’t show the Special Editions. I say this because Disney loves money. And if Disney said for one weekend we’re releasing the non-SE movies in the theaters, they would sell out within hours. They haven’t done that. The only conclusion you can draw is they are forbidden to.
As I said a few newsletters ago in my interview with Darth Dad and Mom Mothma, I either not alive or not old enough to see the OT in the theater. But when the Special Editions were released in 1997, you can be sure I was there opening night for each movie. It was the first chance for me to see them on the big screen and I wasn’t going to miss it. The M.C. noted before Jedi started that the last movie is the most special of the Special Editions, most notably the two music numbers. “Jedi Rocks” at Jabba’s Palace and “Victory Celebration” replacing “Yub Nub.” I don’t think there was anyone who really felt Jedi Rocks added much to the movie. I get why Victory Celebration was added. But come on, Yub Nub was a banger. Anyway, I had a point. This was 19 years after the Special Editions had been in the theaters. For a lot of people this was their first chance to the see OT in the theaters, and as the host kindly asked us all not to boo some of the, ahem less popular changes. Which despite the Yub Nub erasure, I did not boo. This could have been some kid’s first time watching the Death Star explode or the Millennium Falcon escape from belly of the Exogorth. Why ruin that loudly exclaiming Jedi Rocks should never exist?
Also, the movies started at 4:00 PM. The Majestic doesn’t have the most comfortable seats in the galaxy. Even as excited as I was to see the OT in the theater and all the fun of the day, halfway through Jedi all I could think to myself was “just blow up the Death Star so we can go home.” Yub nub, indeed.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
You never know what the article randomizer will give you. This time we’ve got magnetic feet. Two magnets in the last three weeks. Go figure. I’m not sure magnets attached to droids is worthy of a seperate article. But I’m also not the editor of Wookieepedia. I’m barely the editor of Death Star HR.
News From the HoloNet
This Is What Star Wars' Republic Always Was
Not a ringing endorsement of Space Democracy
Star Wars Fans Conflicted Over Marrok's Real Identity in Ahsoka
Breaking news: Star Wars fans like to argue!
Star Wars timeline: From the dawn of the Jedi to the New Jedi Order
In case you’ve been wondering when something happens
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
The episode is titled “Time to Fly” which immediately made me think of REO Speedwagon’s “Time For Me to Fly.”
To save characters I think we’re just going to call her EP1F going forward
The Star Wars comics are wild.
Talk about a kid that is going to have some daddy issues.
If you’re interested in video games that’s an excellent article.