The Death Star Human Resources Department: July 28, 2023
Lando may be on life support, Star Wars as heavy metal, a lazy list, and more.
Hello there
Welcome to this week’s edition of the Death Star Human Resources Department newsletter. Quick programming note, this week’s newsletter is going to be a little shorter than normal. I was out of town and it’s pretty clear from my internet connection that someone is jamming the transmission. The Empire knows I’m here. It’s like I’m on 56k dial-up. Anyway, this week we’re going to discuss the fate of the Lando series, Star Wars heavy metal, and more.
As always, if you like what I’m doing please subscribe and tell a friend. Or tell an enemy. Both Rebels and Imperials are welcome here. Now, let’s get to it.
Lando May be Lost in the Maw Looks For Real
Death Star HR note: Most of this week’s newsletter was written on Monday the 24th, as I am on vacation this week and wanted to knock it out early and enjoy my time off. Then in the evening on 27th, subscriber “chouse” alerted me to a link, that the Lando Calrissian series is still on. Donald Glover and his brother Stephen Glover are the writers. Justin Simien is out. Still going to leave my original article up as it has some good thoughts…or at least thoughts…about Solo and the possible Lando series.
Solo is a movie that I feel is better than it is remembered but not as good as it could have been. You have some great actors and actresses. The film moves along well with a couple decent, albeit fairly obvious twists and turns and one big twist at the end with Crime Boss Darth Maul1. But the plot is what I would call a fairly basic heist movie that just happens to be set in the Star Wars universe. It’s the type of crime movie that would be made by, well, Disney.
The movie is considered a box-office bomb, the first one of Star Wars. Solo grossed approximately $393 million at the box office. However it was estimated the break-even point was $500 million. To me, this is where the Disneyifcation of Star Wars really reared it’s ugly head. The Force Awakens was well-received overall even if it wasn’t especially original. Rogue One is generally considered one of best Star Wars movies. The cracks started to show with The Last Jedi. A movie that is flawed in parts but I really like it. It was such a departure from The Force Awakens that in retrospect we should we should have seen that Disney had no clear plan for the Sequel Trilogy. Solo really showed it. The original directors were fired. The original writer was hired away to do The Force Awakens. The box office performance changed the focus from movies to TV. It’s pretty clear that Book of Boba Fett and Obi-Wan are movies that they filled out into TV shows. Both series suffer the “filler episodes” problem.
Also, this is what happens when you go from Lucasfilm to Disney. It’s not like Lucasfilm was some small start up company, far from it. But they weren’t the giant monstrosity that Disney is. At Lucasfilm, it ultimately came down to what George Lucas wanted and what his vision of Star Wars was at the time. Disney has numerous stakeholders and I’m assuming someone has the final say, but I’m not sure who. Dave Filoni? Kathleen Kennedy? Maybe George has some special power in the sale contract that he gets one veto a year. It seems like some projects under Disney suffer from having too many cooks in the kitchen.
I realize right about now I’m sounding like Anakin describing his fascist ideals to Padme2.
Anyway, all that to say there was the one thing pretty much everyone could agree on: Donald Glover absolutely killed it as Lando Calrissian.
Much like Lando stealing the Millennium Falcon from Han, Donald Glover steals the spotlight from Alden Ehrenreich. Glover brings the right amount of both charm and menace to the character. Lando might be a smooth talker, but he’ll throw down if necessary. As The USA Today notes:
The signs of his force are everywhere, with the Fandango FanShop reporting that Lando merchandise is moving at twice the pace of Han merchandise ahead of the movie arriving in theaters Thursday night. At the world premiere of Solo in Hollywood, the undisputed biggest cheer of the night came 45 minutes into the movie when Calrissian first appeared.
The rest of the piece, in typical USA Today fashion is light on details but does note a couple things. First, Lando had yet to appear in a Disney movie. The Big 3 of Han, Leia, and Luke plus Chewie were in The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. People were excited for Lando. Donald Glover was at his peak and his Childish Gambino song “This Is America” hit #1. And he’s not a Jedi but can still rock a cape.
After the Solo, a lot of people were hoping that Lando would get his own spinoff. Maybe make Solo a trilogy with one movie about Lando and one about Qi’ra. After Disney made the pivot to streaming, the word back from 2020 was it would be a streaming series. After years of no information, We had a brief update at Star Wars Celebration this spring.
Speaking to IGN at Star Wars Celebration, Kennedy revealed that the long dormant show (probably) starring Donald Glover is still happening, though didn't share much as to when we might see more.
"I can just tell you it's still happening, and he's very excited about it," she said, all but confirming that Glover is definitely on board.
That’s news! And it’s good!
Right around the same time, GQ interviewed Glover and he seemed to indicate things were happening.
"Lando is definitely somebody I'd like to hang out with," Glover said. "I mean we're talking about it. That's as much as I can say, you know, without [Lucasfilm president] Kathleen Kennedy hunting me down."
That’s more news! And it’s even gooder…err…better!
But then last week, we had a Sabacc Shift. Writer Justin Simien hasn’t heard anything since the 2020 announcement.
“I certainly poured my heart and spent a lot of time working with them to put together a really great show. It feels like everybody loves it. And, you know, I was told we had to put a pause on it because of scheduling, and the next update I got [was in 2020], some years ago. So I don’t know, I have no idea what’s going on with it.”
That’s more news! But it’s not great. To say the least.
Based on the information available, we’re left with two likely options. The first is that the Lando series is dead, despite what Kathleen Kennedy and Donald Glover said in the spring. As I wrote about in last week’s newsletter, the last three live-action Star Wars streaming series have been met with mixed reaction. Disney CEO Bob “Palpatine” Iger has said there will be some cuts, both in terms of dollars spent and the amount of content produced. The second is that Lando is moving forward but without Justin Simien. I’m not sure how likely this is. He directed The Haunted Mansion that will be in theaters by the time you read this, so it seems like Simien is in the Disney family, so to speak.
Neither of those are great. The former is obviously worse than the latter. Except maybe if you are Justin Simien. Right now the biggest problem with Lando is where it takes place in the Star Wars universe. For their live-action shows Disney seems to be focusing their attention on two areas. The first is post-Empire/pre-First Order, in between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens. This is where what has been dubbed the Mandoverse has been taking place. The second is the High Republic era. We don’t have any live action shows there yet, at least not until The Acolyte comes out. But there are a lot of books and comics taking place in that timer period and it seems like it’s going to be a major focus for Disney in the future. There’s just not a whole lot going on in the space between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope.
Hopefully I’m wrong. Hopefully Lando is still happening and like a Millennial, there’s a bunch of unchecked voicemails on Justin Simien’s phone from Kathleen Kennedy wanting to discuss the series. As much as I love Mando and hopefully Ahsoka, if there’s one thing the Mandoverse is missing, it someone who can rock a snazzy cape.
Throw up the (Zabrak) Horns
Are there any heavy metal bands in the Star Wars universe? There was Star Waver from the Tatooine Rhapsody episode of Star Wars Visions season 1. But they’re not metal, I’d call them more pop punk. Give them a listen. I really get “The Middle” era Jimmy Eat World vibes. But it’s certainly not metal. I came across this today while doomscrolling, unfortunately I don’t have an original source.
Of course this is only funny if you’re aware that there are more genres and sub-genres of metal3 than there were clone troopers in the Grand Army of the Republic. I’d probably go with teen-angst Anakin for Nu-Metal instead of Jar Jar4. But it’s pretty tough to argue with any of these.
Ranking the Disney+ Star Wars Shows
Andor
The Mandalorian season 1
The Mandalorian season 2
Obi-Wan Kenobi
The Mandalorian season 3
The Book of Boba Fett
Couple things of note. These are obviously live-action only. And I’ve been saving this list for a week like this where I need some filler like a Clone Wars cartoon episode where Jar Jar almost has a lover.
I rank Mando season 1 over season 2 because of how accessible it is, and I think it contributed a lot to how popular the show as among both nerds like me and the normies. Season 2 had some awesome moments like the Ahsoka episode and Luke showing up in the finale. But it also required a deeper knowledge. If you just tuned in because you thought Baby Yoda was cute and fun, you might not have known who Ahsoka or Bo-Katan were, or what Operation Cinder was. I don’t see those things as cheap fan service, but at the same time it did require a viewer to know more than just Baby Yoda memes.
Andor and Mando season 1 are the least reliant on Jedi. Look, Space Wizards with laser swords as a rule are generally awesome. Sometimes a little break from them isn’t a bad thing though.
When I initially typed my list, I left out Mando season 3 which should be a sign about what kind of impression it left on me. It wasn’t bad…it was just very uneven. If you wanted to say you prefer Obi-Wan over Mando season 3, I wouldn’t really argue. I give Obi-Wan points for a little more consistency. Obi-Wan’s show as like a Jedi, even keeled. Never too high, never too low. Mando season 3 was like getting attacked by the Mudhorn. All over the place until Grogu saves the day.
Finally, poor Book of Boba Fett. It felt like the Sand People parts dragged on way too long and the show really doesn’t do anything until it turns into The Mandalorian season 2.5. And Cad Bane as a live-action role was completely wasted.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
Prototype Bonadan braided belt. I continue to be amazed at what gets it’s own Wookieepedia entry. This week we have a belt. Yup. A belt. It is a piece of armor you can have your character wear in The Old Republic MMORPG.
Does Star Wars have a special word for pants? Space Pantaloons? Galactic Trousers? I can’t think of any off the top of my head. But if you had a pair of Dagobah Dungarees or Kessel Khakis, you could hold them up with a Bonadan braided belt.
News From the HoloNet
Star Wars Outlaws includes Tatoonie
Cue the Bernie Sanders meme. I am once again asking Disney to just for once skip Tatooine.
Could the Star Forge be in Ahoska?
I am here for any and all things related to Knights of the Old Republic.
Captain Rex? More like Captain Retcon
Dave Filoni really wants Return of the Jedi Rex to happen5.
Ashley Eckstein on early criticism of Ahsoka (the character not the show).
People need to chill out. And I’m saying this as a guy who wrote over 1200 words about a Lando show that may not even be happening.
Knights of the Old Republic, 20 years later
I for sure spent more time on this game than my school work when it was released.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
Darth Maul showing up at the end was a big surprise to me. At that time I was not caught up on my Clone Wars cartoon viewing.
Googling Anakin Skywalker fascist leads to some, ahem, interesting results
I once made a joke about what I thought was a made-up genre of metal. In return a friend sent me several videos of actual Latvian folk metal.
I get why they went with Jar Jar as Nu-Metal, a genre that metalheads and mainstream rock fans often consider a joke. I have a soft spot for nu-metal as it was happening while I was in college so there’s a lot of nostalgia of listening to CDs and going to concerts with friends. There’s also a theory that nu-metal was unfairly maligned by critics as it was more diverse, both in people and musical styles, than what was considered traditional rock music. I don’t think it’s any surprise that the next wave of mainstream rock after nu-metal was the garage/indie rock revival. But that’s another topic for another newsletter.
This seems like a topic we’ll discuss in depth if/when it happens. You’ve been warned.
> First, Lando had yet to appear in a Disney movie. The Big 3 of Han, Leia, and Luke plus Chewie were in The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi.
Didn’t Lando rescue Rey and team on Pasaana in Rise of Skywalker during Festival of the Ancestors? 🧐