The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: March 22, 2024
The Acolyte has arrived and I have a new favorite character and The Bad Batch keep on doing their thing.
Hello there
Good morning and welcome to the March 22nd edition of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. It’s a slightly shorter newsletter this week. We got a trailer for The Acolyte, the next live-action Star Wars show that’s coming out this summer. The Bad Batch keeps on batching, it was a bit of a filler episode but still a good one. Also, prepare your butt for a movie marathon and we get yet another edition of things my wife has said about Star Wars.
As always, if you like what’s happening here at Death Star HR, please tell a friend or forward them the email. Now, let’s get to it.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
Do you think I can talk Emperor Palpatine’s #1 Fan into this jam when we renew our vows?
I’ve got a better chance making the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs than getting her to go along with that.
Wookiee Jedi??? Wookiee Jedi!!!
We’ve seen Wookiee Jedi before, but they are a rarity in the galaxy far, far away. Up until now, I think the only Wookiee Jedi we’ve seen on TV was Gungi, who appeared in six episodes of The Clone Wars and one episode of The Bad Batch where we seemingly got some closure to his story. But then we got the trailer for The Acolyte. With a full-grown Wookiee Jedi. Awwww yeah.
Not a bad way to start your Monday, getting a teaser poster and a release date for the next big Star Wars show. Then Tuesday we got the trailer.
Emperor’s black bones! That’s a Wookiee Jedi!
The Acolyte takes place in what Star Wars calls The High Republic period. It’s 100 years before The Phantom Menace takes place. Supposedly the galaxy is doing pretty well. There’s a ton of Jedi. But it seems not everything is well. As the trailer says, someone is killing Jedi. Probably the group of people wearing purple.
I don’t actually know a whole lot about The High Republic era. It’s a series of books and comic books (I think) that have been going on the last few years. I’m woefully behind on reading canon books. I mean, my current reading project is New Jedi Order which are 25ish years old at this point. If you’re interested in getting into The High Republic books, the Space Wizards Book Club has a good High Republic guide. Sort of like a Sith Wayfinder only it just gives you books to read instead of leading you to a Dark Side planet. Reading The High Republic might be the plan for next year. Hard to see, the future is.
That being said, I am excited for The Acolyte. I mean, I’m a sucker so I’m always excited for any new Star Wars show or movie. But this one has me especially interested for a couple reasons. First off, full grown Wookiee Jedi. Let him go off. Wait…imagine a Wookiee Sith…oh man. He’ll rip your arms out of your sockets without any hesitation. Anyway, we’re getting something that’s not part of the Skywalker Saga. I love the Skywalker clan and all their shenanigans as much as the next guy, but Star Wars is a big galaxy with lots of stories that need to be told. Think about the best parts of Star Wars since Disney took over. Season 1 of The Mandalorian. Andor. Rogue One. I’ll throw The Last Jedi in there because any Star Wars movie that says the Jedi should die is OK with me. Kill your heroes.
The money line in the trailer is “This isn’t about good or bad. This is about power. And who is allowed to use it.” That, coupled with someone killing Jedi and the mysterious red lightsaber suggest there’s some Dark Side action at work. Who gets to wield the Force is a fair question. You have a group of people (humans and aliens) who have immense powers, basically because they have a blood disease. And maybe it’s different in the High Republic, but the Jedi basically didn’t exist in society. They’d hang out at the Jedi Temple mediating. Sure, they’d go on missions for the Republic but they didn’t answer to the Republic. If you’re just a regular person, or Bothan, or Devaronian or whatever and there’s a bunch of really powerful space wizards who don’t answer to anyone, you might wonder if they should have all this power.
Also, it’s not listed on his IMDB page so it’s probably not him, but I really thought this was Glenn Howerton in the trailer. It really looks like him though. Do actors not list stuff on their IMDB until it comes out, to avoid spoilers or anything like that?
First two episodes drop June 6th. I’m sure we’ll get some more info as we get closer. But I’m excited.
The Bad Batch Enters Mid-Season Form
I’ve had a theory for a while that ever single streaming show is at least two episodes too long. Could be more, depending on how many episodes there are in the show. But it’s a minimum of two. Think of your favorite streaming series and I can almost guarantee you can think of a couple episodes that you could cut and the show would be just fine. Hint. They’re usually in the middle of the series.
It’s weird to think about TV before streaming. Not to be an old man shaking my first at the youths to get off my lawn, but back in my day if you missed an episode of a show, you had to hope someone had taped it on their VCR and barring that, wait around for summer reruns. Also there were a lot more filler episodes. A season was 24 or so episodes, there were bound to be some clunkers1. I can think of some pretty bad episodes of The X-Files where I’m sure they got made not because the script was good, but because Fox said we need 5 more episodes and those were the best options they had.
This week’s episode was firmly in the “filler” category. We’ve got the band back together. We’ve established the main overall objectives, protect Omega and free the Clones that are being held captive. Unfortunately there’s 15 episodes and we’re only on episode 8, so we can’t have Clone Force 99 storming Mount Tantiss quite yet. We’ve got to add some detours.
Now don’t get me wrong, this was not a bad episode. Is it a must watch, 10/10 episode of The Bad Batch? No. Did I enjoy watching it? Absolutely. Really I would preferred it if they made Omega and Crosshair the “A” story for the episode and Hunter, Wrecker, and the return of Fennec Shand the “B” story.
The Omega/Crosshair story is the best one of the season. I had figured the redemption of Crosshair would be one main story lines but I didn’t expect I’d enjoy it as much as I have. Crosshair is going on a journey. The humanity of the Clones is an interesting topic. Sure, they’re human. They’re not Wookiees or Quarren or Tuskens. But they’re kind of humans with an asterisk. Crosshair was born in a test-tube and raised to be a solider. As far as we the audience knows, all Crosshair has ever known is the Clone Wars. Even then, since he was part of Clone Force 99, he wasn’t exactly popular with the Regs. Maybe he needs another weird clone in Omega to actually make him human.
The Hunter/Wrecker/Fennec story was fun. They got to take a river cruise. Wrecker body-slammed a Space Alligator. They all got to fight a giant insectoid bounty hunter. Good fun.
The ending is what everyone is talking about. It has to be the return of Asajj Ventress. It wouldn’t make sense to hide anyone else. I guess it could be Cid or Cad Bane but come on, they’re not going to hide Cid in the shadows as a teaser. We know Ventress shows up at some point this season, she was in the trailer. As a Force user she’s got a high M-Count. I almost wonder if that instead of selling out the Bad Batch like it appeared, Fennec is warning Ventress that she thinks the Bad Batch are after anyone with a high M-Count.
I guess we’ll find out soon. Tune in next week. Same batch time. Same batch channel2.
20-20-24 Hours To Go/I Wanna Be a Jedi
So there’s going to be an extra special movie event for May the 4th. We thought it was just going to be The Phantom Menace back in the theaters for its 25th anniversary. It will be fun, I’m going to go. Sure, TPM is not a great movie but it’s going to be fun to see the podracing scene and the Duel of the Fates back on the big screen. But wait, there’s more. Straight from the official site, we’re getting 24 hours of Star Wars.
Lucasfilm announced today that in celebration of the 25th anniversary of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, fans will have the chance to experience the entire Skywalker Saga in theaters this May the 4th, also known as Star Wars Day. This includes all nine episodic films in chronological order.
Let’s say, just to keep the math easy, all of Skywalker Saga films average 2 hours 15 minutes. A New Hope is the shortest film at 2 hours 5 minutes. The Last Jedi is the longest at 2 hours 34 minutes. Nine movies at 2:15 each works out to 20 hours 15 minutes. There’s going to be some breaks and there’s going to be a special look at The Acolyte as well. So you’re probably getting a full 24 hours in the galaxy far far away.
Back in the September 1st Death Star HR, I wrote about how I went to a back to back to back screening of the Original Trilogy and about how half way through ROTJ, I just wanted Palpy to get tossed down the reactor core so I could go home because my butt had gone numb. Now, it looks like the whole Skywalker Saga will be shown at a Cinemark which probably has better seats than the Majestic Theater were I watched the OT. Tickets are on sale today. I may see how much they are and it would be fun to go do it and write about it for Death Star HR, but I’m not sure I can pull that off. Seems like a young man’s game.
Things My Wife Has Said About Star Wars
Getting ready for last week’s two-part Bad Batch.
Me: Two episodes of The Bad Batch tonight!
Her: [in a flat, monotone voice] Yay. I’m so excited.
Me: Quit trying to troll your way into Death Star HR. It won’t work.
Her: That’s not a fair accusation! I’ve been trolling you about Star Wars for years.
It’s true, she has been. Although I think she’s ramped it up lately. It’s good for content.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
You’re a rogue smuggler stuck on the forest moon of Endor. Your ship has broken down, you don’t really care for camping. But what else are you going to do? The little fuzzy creatures roaming the forest look like they’d rather have you as their feast than serve you some dinner. Well, fear not weary traveler. You can bunk for the night at the Endor Splendor Inn.
If you can’t remember seeing a hotel during Return of the Jedi, don’t worry. You didn’t miss it. It was exclusive to the Tokyo Disneyland Star Tours. Sounds cozy.
News From the HoloNet
Star Wars Celebration Japan Ticket Annoucement!
Setting up the Go Fund Me as we speak.
Can Leslye Headland Save Star Wars?
Counterpoint. Grogu already saved Star Wars.
The First ‘The Acolyte’ Controversy Is Absurd, Even For ‘Star Wars’ Fans
Absurd controversies are the point of Star Wars fandom.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
The only show immune to this is golden age Simpsons
Can’t believe it’s taken me this long to make that joke.
Great edition! I haven't read any of the High Republic books either, and I think The Acolyte is dipping into that to some extent (characters specifically) based on what I've read. I'm slightly less enthused about it after seeing the trailer, but hoping it delivers on the Jedi-murdering premise.