The Death Star Human Resources Department: August 18, 2023
It's hot out, but is it Tatooine hot? We've got more Ahsoka teasers, I finally finished Rebels, and a lot more
Hello there
Happy five-days-to-Ahsoka-Friday and welcome to this week’s edition of the Death Star Human Resources Department newsletter. We’ve got a lot to talk about this week. We check in on Tatooine weather, talk about the numerous Ahsoka teasers that have dropped this week, discuss art critics, talk about Rebels, and the rest of the assorted nonsense we do every week.
As always, if you like this newsletter, please subscribe and forward it to a friend who might like it. I do appreciate everyone who has subscribed and there’s going to be a lot of good content coming. Now, let’s get to it.
The Twin Suns of Texas
We all known Tatooine is hot. But just how hot is it? They never actual say, but I did a little sleuthing and found this. Also, this is what I think about when I’m falling asleep.
The font is a little small if you’re reading this on your phone. But they suggest a high of 42.3 Celsius. A high of 42 in Mos Espa translates to roughly 107 degrees on Earth. Man, that’s hot. Who would be dumb enough to live in that kind of hellscape?.
Oh…
Another Week, Another Round of Ahsoka Teasers
Does anyone have a connection at the Mouse House? If so, holler at me. It would be incredibly helpful if they could release any new teasers for their shows on Thursday instead of Friday. By forcing me to wait a week to talk about the new Ahsoka teasers, Disney is missing out on tens and tens of clicks here.
We are of course only a week away from Ahsoka. The media campaign is a little muted since the two Hollywood strikes, writers and actors, are still going on. Which means Rosario Dawson, Dave Filoni, Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and the rest of the cast cannot do promotion for the show. I’m wondering if Disney is releasing more teaser trailers than they had originally planned since Dawson won’t be hitting the late night talk shows or anything like that. To keep the buzz going, Disney has released not one, not two, but three five1 new Ahsoka teasers.
The first one, titled “Rosario Dawson’s Ahsoka in 30” is exactly what it sounds like. Dawson gives a 30 second rundown on Ahsoka Tano’s backstory and what we’re going to get in the new series. There’s nothing new in terms of information or footage, but if you haven’t watched the Clone Wars and Rebels cartoons, it’s a quick way to learn what’s going on. We also get a surprise guest at the end, Chopper!
Next we have “Trick”, which gives us a few new seconds of footage. Ahsoka and Sabine Wren working on lightsaber training with wood practice sabers. We saw this back in Rebels, when Kanan Jarrus teaches Sabine lightsaber combat so she can use the Darksaber. I’ve seen some articles, and even done it myself, questioning if the show is going to turn Sabine into a Force user. The more I think about it, and this is what I think about instead of things like my job or family, the more unlikely it seems. Sabine spent all of Rebels hanging out with at least two Jedi. Surely if she was Force sensitive they would have picked up on it.
The last one (at least as of Sunday the 13th when I initially started writing) is “Force.” We get some footage of Ahsoka fighting Baylan Skoll with a voiceover from Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. Two things we can probably take away from this. The first is it seems like we’re going to see Anakin Skywalker, not Darth Vader. The second is we’re going to get to see Anakin and Ahsoka together in live-action. Probably through the use of flashbacks although the show could get really weird and use the World Between Worlds and have a pre-Vader version of Anakin meet with the current Ahsoka. That would be a little wild and I’m not sure Disney would commit to being just that out there. But either way, it should be fun.
Just when I thought I was done, on the 16th we got two more. The first was “Get Ready.” It really doesn’t give us anything new. A little more master and apprentice talk with Baylan and Shin Hati along with Ahsoka and Sabine. The marketing is really leaning into the master and apprentice rolls.
And finally get “A Hero’s Journey.” This one we get a mashup of the master and apprentice and Rosario talking. We get some shots of Obi-Wan and Anakin. And Rosario talking about how excited she is to be in the show, how much fun it was shooting the Ahsoka episode of Mando, and what a big Star Wars fan she was growing up. Again nothing really in the way of new footage but it’s still fun to watch.
That’s all of them. I think. I hope. I’m sure Disney will drop five new ones after I hit publish.
Thawn: the Grand Admiral of Art Critics
I’ve had this idea for a newsletter bit for a while now. Things in the Star Wars universe that just don’t make sense. I realize many you might be thinking right now that pretty much everything in the Star Wars universe doesn’t make any sense if you think about it for too long. You’re not wrong, but we’re just going to focus on little things. And as always, in the spirit of the Death Star Human Resources Department, we’re doing this to laugh and highlight the absurd, not to get mean about it.
By way of a brief background, Grand Admiral Thrawn is probably the most important character2 from the Expanded Universe3. First introduced by Timothy Zahn in as the main villain 1991’s Heir to the Empire; Thrawn was the opposite of most Imperials. Unlike the Tarkins of the world who are only interested in blowing stuff up with as big of a laser as they can find, Thrawn is much more of a cool cat. He’s clever and resourceful. He outsmarts his enemies, not needing to rely on brute force and big lasers.
How does Thrawn do this? Art. Thrawn studies the art of a species or a culture and that gives him insight into how they think. He’ll be like “The Wookies like to build things out of wood. So we should always attack from the north.” Or “Alderaanian art uses muted colors and downward brush strokes, they’ll be an easy target for a giant laser.”
It’s a cool bit, I can’t deny that. It gives Thrawn some panache. It also only makes sense in the context of Star Wars where planets or species are basically a monolith. If you’re on Kashyyyk, it’s all Wookiees and they all have the interests or mentality. And presumably, the same art. He leans into a little more in the books than he does in Rebels. To be sure, in Rebels he’s shown as more of an aficionado of art made by his enemies but he doesn’t really use it the same way he does in the books.
Translating that to the real world has always made me laugh to myself. Like I have a mental picture of Saddam Hussein in a bunker with a book of Warhols trying to determine the US army troop movements by studying pop art. Or Osama Bin Laden in his cave, the only thing hung on the wall is a print of the dogs playing poker. And he just stares at it for hours at a time. Trying to figure out it’s hold on Americans.
And that’s just prints, art can be anything. Sculpture, photography, music, dance, spoken word. Art can be anything. Or more accurately in my opinion, art is whatever you can convince someone art is.
Countries, planets, cultures, whatever are not monolithic. If you asked 100 people to say what they thought American art was, you’d get 100 different answers. Everything ranging from Native American cave paintings to jazz to Ansel Adams to Georgia O’Keefe to bootleg stickers of Calvin peeing on a Ford logo. Even in Rebels, you had a Mandalorian who was a graffiti artist. Not something you’d typically associate with a people who really loved blowing stuff up.
So sorry, Thrawn. Your art lover bit is pretty cool. But like a lot of things in Star Wars, it’s just a bit silly,
As a side note, while trying to Google an image of Thrawn in Rebels studying some of Sabine’s graffiti, I found a lot of fan art depicting Thrawn and Sabine in a romantic relationship, including a couple that were decidedly NSFW. I mean people like what they like, but come on. If you’re going to ‘ship Thrawn with someone from the Ghost, Hera would be a much more interesting choice. I truly cannot believe I typed that.
Star Wars Rebels: This is Your Life
In anticipation of Ahsoka next week (how can you forgot that’s all I’ve been writing about lately) I finally completed my re-watch of Rebels. As a quick background4 Rebels ran four seasons from 2014 - 2018. It’s a Disney production and is considered canon. The series takes place from 5 BBY5 - 1 BBY and follows the crew of the Ghost as they fight against the Empire, mostly on the Outer Rim planet Lothal. You’ve got street rat/Padawan Ezra Bridger. Order 66 Surviving Jedi Kanan Jarrus. Captain of the Ghost and Mom figure Hera Syndulla. Mandalorian artist and explosives expert Sabine Wren. Token alien/big dude Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios. And last but certainly not least, C1-10P AKA Chopper. The only droid in the Star Wars universe that might be a war criminal.
I was texting with a friend a few weeks ago about Rebels and the consensus it that it’s way better than it honestly has any business being. There’s too many episodes to really recap everything, so some bullet points:
The development of Ezra Bridger was extremely well done. It seemed obvious to me that as soon as they introduced him as the main character, he’d end up as a Jedi. But to go from street punk to jumping into the Unknown Regions with Thrawn to save your friends is pretty good.
Also, killing off the story line of Ezra having the hots for Sabine was a good call. It just felt forced.
Kanan was (I believe) the first Jedi who survived Order 66 we see in a TV show, other than Obi-Wan and Yoda of course. When we meet Kanan, he’s kind of a broken guy. Who can blame him. He’s doing what he can just to hang on and help out the fledgling rebellion on Lothal. And now he’s got himself a Padawan he has to figure out what to do with.
The first canon appearance of the Inquisitors. I didn’t know this, the idea for the Inquisitors in some form goes back to 1987 and the Star Wars RPG. The idea of fallen Jedi now working as collaborators with the Empire is a good one. Jason Isaacs brings the right tone for the Grand Inquisitor. He should have done the live-action version as well. Sarah Michelle Geller as the the Seventh Sister was a nice touch as well.
Rebels does a good job of having “main” characters make an appearance but not being overly reliant on them. Off the top of my head we see Obi-Wan, Lando, Darth Maul, Captain Rex, and then of course Darth Vader and Ahsoka Tano. There’s also pop-ins from Bail Organa, Mon Mothma, Grand Moff Tarkin, and probably a couple others I can’t think of off the top of my head. While all those characters appear, they aren’t allowed to take over the show.
Ahsoka was in a lot fewer episodes than I remembered her being in.
There’s much more about the mystical side of the Force than most Star Wars properties. The Loth Wolves, the Jedi Temple on Lothal, and the World Between Worlds. I hate saying the Force is more grounded in reality in other properties because clearly there’s no reality to shooting lighting out of your fingers. But Rebels really leaned into it. I thought that was really cool.
The show, and a lot of the Dave Filoni-era, are about family. Both your biological family and your adopted family. The crew of the Ghost form their own family, eventually with Agent Kallus joining them. Hera and Sabine each deal with their estranged family over the course of the show. The message is ultimately working together is, in fact, good.
Chopper is the real star of the show and true hero of the rebellion and Disney needs to green light a 8 episode, live-action Chopper show ASAP.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
You never know what the randomizer is going to turn up. This week we have a magnetic seal6. You know. Something that keeps doors shut. The most notable scene featuring such technology is the Death Star trash compactor. Strangely, magnetic seal has both canon and legends entries. That’s all I got. Sometimes we get a fun one. Sometimes we get magnets.
News From the HoloNet
It’s the 15th anniversary of The Clone Wars movie cartoon
Rotta the Hutt stans rejoice.
Lucasfilm Closes Singapore VFX Studio Behind Clone Wars
Happy 15th anniversary!
Ahsoka Episode 3 Runtime Repeats the Worst Star Wars TV Sin
Enough with the short episodes. 45 minutes, minimum. The more Jedi action, the better.
"Falling to the Dark Side Is Nothing to be Ashamed of"
I’m not a comic guy but this sounds amazing.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
When I started this week’s newsletter on the 12th there were 3 new ones. Then on the 15th there were 2 more.
Ahsoka Tano is technically not an EU character. See next footnote. Otherwise she would probably be number 1.
The EU was a pre-Disney term for anything that existed outside the movies and other specific Lucas-authorized media. It’s now what we call Legends.
I often type “as a quick note/background” and then proceed to word vomit all over the screen. It’s never quick.
It has always stuck me as weird using the Battle of Yavin instead of Battle of Endor as the time marker.
F’ing magnets. How do they work?