The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: March 29, 2024
An Imperial state of mind, blue milk is real, old games are the best games, and a little more.
Hello there
Sorry, everyone, there’s not much this week. To put it simply, it’s been a week of Mondays. So just a few quick things for the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter this week and I’ll be back with a full newsletter next week. You’ve been warned.
As always, if you’re enjoying the Death Star HR, please tell a friend. Well, maybe don’t tell them about this edition. But one of the other, better ones. Now, let’s get to it.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
Everyone knows about Star Wars day, it’s May the 4th. Sure, some people accuse it of being a made up holiday along the lines of Love Day, but if you really think about it, all holidays are made up. Much like Disney gobbling up all available entertainment IP, it’s decided that Star Wars is going to have a whole month to themselves.
In case you hadn’t heard the news, I give you “Imperial March.” I’m not sure why this wasn’t announced on March 1st. At first I thought it just seemed like a good excuse for Disney to unload some new merch that hadn’t made it out in time for Christmas, but it turns out the Disney had some grand plans.
The Imperials have taken over the Empire State Building. That has a nice ring to it. Hayden Christensen was on hand. And look, more proof that the man isn’t busy. Get that Darth Vader series done! There’s an exhibit with giant Darth Vader and Darth Maul LEGO statues along with a giant Darth Vader Funko POP!. And as you can see that the end of the video, a light show. Pretty cool. As an adopted Texan, I am supposed to think of New York City is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, makes sense the Imperials have taken over.
Great Moments in Star Wars Merchandising
Food is a funny subject in Star Wars. I mentioned this a few weeks ago with the iced Trammistan chocolate donut. Three of those four words are from our galaxy. But by adding “Trammistan” it sudden becomes a donut from the galaxy far, far away. It’s funny, the idea that donuts exist in our universe and in Star Wars, but what else are they going to call them. Sure, George Lucas could have made up1 a word for donuts, called them flerrgamizers but then how would we know that a flerrgamsizer is really just another word for a donut? We wouldn’t. Off the top of my head in the beverage category, there’s Corellian brandy and Nectarwine, we can figure out what those things out even if it’s not of our galaxy.
Anyway, that’s a long explanation to how Blue Milk is going to be a thing you can buy now.
![No trip to the outer rim required. | Image Credit: LucasFilm No trip to the outer rim required. | Image Credit: LucasFilm](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc60b1342-3917-416c-9314-d06cb9ab8d77_720x720.jpeg)
Should this be something you’re interested in, it’s a vanilla-flavored milk that has blue food coloring. As someone who doesn’t really like milk…this does not sound good. At all. But if I find some of in the store, I will buy and review it here. Because that is my dedication to my readers. Maybe I could put it in my coffee. I guess.
Also, Luke Skywalker himself says Blue Milk is gross.
There you have it. Blue Milk is going to be real. What a time to be alive.
KOTOR the GOAT
I’ve mentioned this a few times, but the Knights of the Old Republic video games are probably my all time favorites. And recently on Substack there were not one, but two great articles about the games.
And it’s an older code article but it checks out.
Two fun reads. I’ve mentioned KOTOR before here at Death Star HR but never really gone in depth on the two games. And I’m not here the above linked articles are going to pump enough Old Republic goodness straight into your brain. There have been rumors floating around for years about a KOTOR movie or TV show but nothing has ever come of them. The first game was also supposed to be remade for the PlayStation 5 but who knows if it will ever see the light of day. Last November it was announced it was cancelled. Then a few days later it wasn’t cancelled but there’s no date. So who knows. Might be time to fire up KOTOR again on Steam.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
Lucasville. It sounds like it would be some sort of Lucasfilm company town. Located somewhere in a desolate part of northern California where instead of being paid in U.S. dollars, ILM and Lucasfilm employees were paid in Republic Credits they could only redeem at Uncle George’s General Store. Basically what Skywalker Ranch would have been if not for labor laws.
It was actually an insider joke from the animators in The Clone Wars episode “To Catch a Jedi.”
I need to back and watch the episode, but this one is during the plot where Ahsoka is accused of bombing the Jedi Temple and is on the run. As she uses the Underworld subtram system on Coruscant, I guess at some point you see this in the background.
News From the HoloNet
How Disney plans to celebrate Star Wars on May the 4th
Merchandising! Merchandising! Merchandising!
Disney Is Letting The Best Star Wars Stories Rot
Where’s my Truce at Bakura movie???
Our Flag Means Death star Vico Ortiz built a whole lifestyle around Star Wars
I have too. Where’s my Polygon feature?
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
Much like holidays, all words are made up.
Thanks for the love, bud!
I would kill someone for a KOTOR live action series/film.
I wouldn't really kill someone. But I'd consider it.